S - Self-Proclaimed Good Guys Are Idiots Too

Holy hell. What a week. By the by, I'm officially hijacking the blog. When you're in a good relationship, as Paul is, you don't really have anything to write about. When you're breaking up and single, sky's the limit.

I spent a respectable night at home Wednesday because that had to happen. Underwear is washed, but my room looks like a clothes monster threw up all over it, which is not my way. Instead of attending to it yesterday, I went out with a friend because that's how I roll.

Old School texted and wanted to get together before his travels. I'm booked every night through Monday. A little back and forth, but ultimately he said that if I wasn't into this, it was OK, and no hard feelings. At this point, I'm with my friend, so I don't text back right away.

I ended up spending the night at my friend's and when I woke up, not only was my phone dead, it wouldn't charge. I finally got that figured out and immediately texted Old School to apologize for the disappearance and that I needed to haul ass to get ready for work and would text later.

Maybe an hour goes by, and I realize I need to face this. Although I am glad that I went out on a date right after the break-up (It was the right thing for me to do for me.), I still have a bit of processing to do. The getting-over-it is speeding along, for sure, but jumping into anything that is equal to or greater than the Todd situation isn't a reality at the moment. Plus, Old School is off to the Philippines in a week.

I texted Old School and told him this and said that it had nothing to do with him, obviously, and if he didn't think I was a weirdo, and he didn't fall in love with a lovely local, he should hit me up when he returns. This did not go over well.

To paraphrase, he said that at my age this is a cop-out and if I were attracted to him, I'd try harder, and I'm not trying. He also said something ugly about Todd which was immature and unnecessary, and then finished it off with a dig on people in LA. Pretty textbook.

At this moment, I'd like to recant my "he is extremely emotionally intelligent" assessment. I'd also like to note, and remind others, that what people say and how they actually feel is often skewed. Old School was obviously NOT that OK with me not being into it, and I'm OK with that.

I'd also like to note that although it is unfair for him to assume that he knows anything about anything that I'm going through, it is entirely fair that he claim that if I were more attracted to him, I would not use Todd as an excuse.

So here's the deal - I'm going to take a short amount of time to lick my wounds and plunge myself into a creative endeavor because that's how I get through muck. I'm excited about it but not ready to divulge my idea just yet.  All I can say is that it involves me moving to Canada for a year.  #kidding

As we all know, this blog is not about my work; it's about love. I am here to assure the 5 of you that read this that I am not giving up. A good friend of mine has been wanting to set me up with  a particular guy before this blog even started. I want to give both of us a fair chance, so I'm trucking through these feelings of mine first. I have to say, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about moving forward. Today. Lord knows what tomorrow will bring.