Monday, September 14, 2015

S - C'est Fini, Pour Moi

I have been so excited to write this post. I even had a dream about it. Paul and I had a candid conversation the other day, and we both agreed that we were not only cool with quitting the blog, we'd actually preferred to.

I've been over this endeavor for quite some time. Once again, I am reminded that while you are able to control many things in life, love is not one of them. I have gone out on a plethora of first dates, but I'm not enjoying the process at all. There are so many other things I'd rather do - read, write, look for blemishes in my magnifying mirror, watch the 3rd season of Sex and the City for the 14th time... You know, stuff.

I have also observed the world around me through clearer lenses. Yeah, I have a few friends in healthy, happy relationships, but I also have friends in not so great unions. The grass may always be greener, but you still  have to mow both sides.

Falling in love is also no longer on the top of my priority list. I'm way more interested in concentrating on my health, career, and happiness. A friend of mine told me that she is her best when she is in a relationship, and it got me to thinking. The truth of the matter is, I think I'm at my best when I'm single. I'm more creative, I eat better, drink less, and work out more. Now, that could also be because I haven't found the right guy who compliments my ways, but whatever.

So, this is a mic drop for ole Shelby Louise Stockton. It's been fun-ish. If you feel you'll miss me, may I suggest you keep tabs on the Desperately Seeking John Stamos blog? As soon as I'm cleared from this NDA, shit is about to get REAL!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

S - September Morn

Dammit. Summer is over. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to the temperature dropping a bit, but school is back in session, and that means I have to work. I have made the decision to cut back on the teaching to concentrate on my own endeavors and figure out my next step, so I shouldn't be a riddled mess like I was last year.

OK, let's play catch-up. As I mentioned in my last post, I took August off from the blog and hardcore dating. Yeah, sure, I went on a few first dates last month, but they lead to nothing but a vodka soda or 2. I went on another first last night as well. Im getting very good at firsts.

Last night's gentleman asked what my longest relationship was. The answer is 2 years. He then asked how long ago that was. Crap. Maybe 17 years ago? Ever since then it's been 3-6 months. I made a decision a long time ago to get out of a relationship ASAP if I knew it was going nowhere, and I have stuck to that promise. That or the dude breaks up with me first, but whatever. After I answered his questions, I realized that this relationship resume probably does not look all that auspicious. I'm the female George Clooney, if he were financially strapped and trying to lose 5 lbs. I guess the silver lining is that I'll meet my Amal in my twilight years. #bragging

Fall can be depressing, but this male siren will pull you out of the depths.

Oh, you guys! I'm going to do some shameless plugging as well. Paul and I started an Instagram account titled ShelbyandPaul, and it's dedicated to DubSmashes. We have grown obsessed with the Lisa Rinna/Kim Richards feud. I want to meet Lisa Rinna SO BADLY and take a picture with her as Lisa Rinna. I may want it more than love. Hit the link, check us out, and follow us. It's so easy.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

S - I Have a Secret

With a title like this one, I'm just going to jump right into it. I have written many blogs. There was the original dating blog 30 Dates 30 Blogs, the international American Cheerleader in Paris, the finished/unfinished* Desperately Seeking John Stamos, and of course our The Amating Race. I have never quit a blog before it's fruition, but I want to quit this one.

Here's the thing, I don't care if Paul wins, or I win. Although I'd love to fall in love with a man who reciprocates those feelings, I don't particularly care about searching for it. What I am interested in focusing on at the moment is yoga, sleep, sun, laughter, reading, writing, and figuring out what I REALLY want to do with the rest of my life. So I've reached a healthy compromise.

I am taking August off from the blog. I'm still dating (have one on Friday, as a matter of fact), but I'm going to keep all outings to myself for now. Let's be European and lay off the work for August.

So enjoy the rest of your summer. Writing this post has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders. I'm off to do some retail therapy.

*I have the most amazing news regarding this blog that I am unable to share with everyone due to an NDA, but once that's over, get ready for the BEST ending to a blog EVER!!!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

S - I'm Tapping Out

Hi friends. I hope everyone had a nice and relaxing weekend. I have 1 1/2 more weeks of summer school, and then I have a full month of absolutely NO WORK. Unless one counts figuring out what one is to do with the rest of one's life as no work, I suppose.

Prince and I had our second date on Friday. We met at a Mexican restaurant in my hood. I was the first to arrive and patiently played Bedazzled whilst waiting for him. He apologized for his tardiness; he had a crazy day. He had a bevy of information to give me before we settled into the evening. Because we live in the times that we live in today, Prince Googled me after our first date. He asked, "Are you writing a blog about your dating life?" I smiled and said yes. He showed concern. I assured him that I am quite cryptic to personal matters, and the true nature of this blog is to push Paul and myself outside of our comfort zones. I think that set him at ease a bit. We had a lovely, respectable evening and expressed an interest in seeing each other again. My schedule is stupid during the week, so I don't know when our next meeting will be. I'll keep everyone apprised.

On a different note, Paul and I had an interesting conversation about the blog. He feels that my last few posts have been negative. I write how I feel. Some days I'm really hopeful about this process, and other days I want to bury my head in the sand. I'm also beginning to think that this is not the best way to find love. You know the old adage, "Love comes when you stop looking." I have many fiends who have found love whilst looking, so whatever to that. I just don't know if writing about one's love life is the best way to get a man to open up, feel comfortable with being vulnerable, and ultimately fall in love. I told Paul that if he felt I was getting too negative and it was a huge bummer, then I have no problem jumping ship. He was not happy with this assessment. Plus, only 7 people read this blog, so I guess the journey continues.

I am, however, signing off of I just can't. Being on the site makes me super depressed and want to hide from everyone. I've stopped communicating with my suitors, and every time my phone notifies me with a wink, or a fave, or a whatever in the hell they're peddling, I get sick to my stomach. It makes me want to move to Austin and build a Bestie Row with my girls: live off the land, use well water, solar panels, and no romantic love. So, Match needs to go. I'm just going to attempt to see Prince again, and if that doesn't happen, that's OK too. I'm in a huge me phase right now. I just want to work on my life.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

S - Suitors, Suitors, Everywhere...

People, the Internet is a damp, dark place for anyone, but when it comes to online dating, it is a crevasse of insanity, sadness, and desperation. It is no place for someone who wants to keep a positive outlook on society or the male species. (I am sure the women aren't great either, but this is my blog post so my perspective.)

I went on my first date on Wednesday. What a doozy. This gentleman knows about the blog, and it's not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, but we were not a match. I'm sure he'd agree. The date was over within an hour. That's usually not a good sign. He asked a few times what I'd write about him, but I cannot answer such questions. It was not the most pleasant experience for a plethora of reasons. Then I heard that a friend of mine went out with this same man and had a similar experience. Let's just say he is a complainer. He didn't like the restaurant I picked, the air made his eyes itch, and did he mention that he REALLY didn't like the restaurant I picked? On to the next.

I then had a coffee date with an extremely tanned and heavily cologned man. Coffee dates are the worst. They never amount to anything. He was nice enough but a bit of a mansplainer. Not my guy.

At this point I'm super depressed and sad. Internet dating sucks. Everyone is 10-20 years older than I am and seems to want to fit me into some box that they have decided would make a perfect mate. Then I received this:

It was like an omen from the the heavens. I was obviously disappointed that I spent money on this endeavor, but I felt the horoscope gods were telling me to move on. The only problem was that I had already scheduled a date with a gentleman caller that was age appropriate and handsome. I thought, "I'll go out with this one, and then I'm done."

I met Prince (because he is one at this point, and it's fun to say I'm hanging out with Prince) at a local restaurant. He's cute, personable, funny, and most importantly, NORMAL. Our date lasted 3+ hours and probably would have continued if I didn't have work the next day. We're seeing each other again on Friday.

So, let's climb aboard the Love Train once again. Where will this one take us? A make-out? A short relationship with a heartbreak at the end? A fight? Signatures on a dotted line? Only time will tell. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

P- Game On

Well, he's back. He had a date last night. A cute gentleman contacted him on OKCupid, (literally ten minutes after he paid for But, he, (I dont' know why I'm doing this third person.... I guess I'll switch back)...was into it.  It went well. Drinks. Dinner. Drinks. Conversation. All good.

Will this new gentleman be the new Mr. Case? Who knows? All I know is that I had a good night with good conversation and I'm totally open to date #2. The nice part is, coming off of this date, I've realized:

1. I've still got it.
2. If I never hear from this guy again, at least I had a good night.
3. If I do hear from him (which I have, and we've made no plans but we've been in conversation) I'm open to see what is next.
4. Everything's coming up.....

It's not all Shelby, you know...

(replace "roses" with "PAUL")

It's not an exciting post, but it's one to tell you, I'm still here, dammit!

Monday, July 6, 2015

S - Seriously Considering Filling My Pockets With Stones and Walking Into the Ocean

Happy post July 4th everyone. I hope everyone had a nice and relaxing holiday. I had a blast. Paul and I threw a little shin-dig. I didn't eat too much, stayed hydrated, and felt fine in the morning. That's a score, in my book. Oh, and apparently it doesn't matter how much you practice cornhole by yourself, when the BBQ tournament comes around, you'll inevitably choke.

But whatever. I have to write about what's happening online. You guys, seriously? If you saw what is out there and how it interacts with me, you would be just as depressed as I am right now. I mean, I have a couple of text flirting boyfriends right now, but the communication is pretty UGH. This one doesn't know the difference between your and you're, the other wants to take me to Palm Springs (We haven't met.), another is just a snooze-fest and doesn't understand witty banter. It's all so... mundane.

I don't want you to worry though, because I'm getting some killer stories. There's the man from some town in California I've never heard of that I accidentally "winked" at (kill me), and now he's UP IN MY GRILL. I believe a direct quote from one the 14 unanswered messages he sent was, "I'll be right here waiting for you, Dear." No Boo.

Then there'e the man who doesn't date performers, which is fine by me, but he then listed all of the reasons why: they're narcissistic, selfish, immature... Manners are not a strong suit in the online game.

There are also no shortage of selfies: at the gym, in a public restroom, in an apartment restroom, in the gym restroom, with a motorcycle... And 75% of them are rotated the wrong way.

It's really sad. This is all becoming quite cumbersome, even after only 4 days. Is it really asking too much to find a decent gentleman, of an appropriate age, with a job, who enjoys live music, Netflix, laughing, and a plethora of other things that would be required? I'm thinking the answer to that is yes.

So, I'm going to go sit in this corner over here and cry myself to sleep while my phone continues to explode with messages from men in their twilight years from Rancho Cucamonga. Funny on paper? Yes. Funny in real life? Not on your life.

Just fill my pockets with stones, and call it a day.