P- Something is Rotten in the State of Denmark

You guys:

We're still here! We've just been on break like the rest of you- ignoring our responsibilities and watching back to back episodes of "Scandal". (well, that was me. I don't know what Shelby did because I haven't seen her in two weeks)... But, we're back and I wanted to go first. She doesn't even know this is happening right now!

Remember that Scandinavian adventure that I was supposed to embark on for the holidays? IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! Long story short, I got to the airport, ready to board the plane to Copenhagen- and I looked so cute- drop crotch black sweats, comfy T shirt with an Icelandic sweater that I bought especially for the trip, black leather jacket and Ray-bans. I looked either like Jo from "The Facts of Life" or a Kardashian with a soul...

Anyway, I hand the woman my passport to clear security and- long story short- my passport expires on January 17th. I was set to return on January 3rd. However, the law states that it can't expire within 90 days of your departure date. Did you know that? Cause I sure as hell didn't! I couldn't get an emergency appointment for a passport extension until Monday, the 29th- the day I was supposed to leave Stockholm and fly to Prague.  The woman told me that if I boarded the plane, when I landed in Denmark, they would send me right back to L.A. and I'd lose my ticket in full! 

SO, I had to change the dates on my trip and I'm now going for Spring Break (sorry, Shelby. We're not going to Miami anymore). BUT, I was left alone in L.A. with no plans, all of my friends gone and too much time... So, I went to Denver to visit my oldest friend Megan and her husband, Nick. I just spent a week there over Thanksgiving and had a blast, so we just recreated it and had a really awesome Christmas and New Years Eve (we threw a taco party. I mean, you can't go wrong). 

But, you know what that means? No love conquest! No Scandinavian affair. No potential life living between warm, sunny L.A. and northern, socialist Sweden. 

My predicament is still in your hands, guys. I'm trying here. I'm OKCupiding, I'm making suggestions to friends that I'm in a place to be set up, etc. I'll give you all a pass since you've been busy doing nothing as well. But, it's 2015 It's time to make it happen for me (and for you! Think about it- you set me up with a friend of yours and that means every time you have a great party or dinner, you get me there as well!)

In order to help you on your helping me, I'm going to list 5 things below that matter to me. I'd like to say that I'm not picky, but... I am. We all are. We can sugar coat it however we want to, but we all have our likes and dislikes. Here are 5 of mine:

1. Please don't be a fan of Disneyland. Unless you have children (which is OK), why would a grown adult want to spend time in a place with long lines, boring rides and no alcohol? Count me out.
2. Please know the difference between "there" "their" and "they're" as well as "your" and "you're". I know we all slip up sometimes and use the wrong one while we're typing in a hurry, but I will know if it is a mistake or if it is ingrained.
3. Please be good about returning texts or calls in a timely manner. If you're a surgeon and you're in surgery constantly (which would be an awesome plus), you have access to your phone at various times during the day. It takes 3 seconds to reply- even it you just reply with a "yes" or an "ok". I hate waiting games, I'm impatient, and it makes me second guess things when seven hours go by while I wait for an answer to, "What time is the movie tonight?"
4. Please have something that you really like. Maybe it's a sport or going to museums or hiking or cooking or whatever. As long as it's not LARPing, I'm probably going to be game to at least give it a try. If I don't like it, I'll still be glad that you have something to do because it means I have some time to do things that I like as well.
5. Please use the word "please". It's as simple as that.

Ok. GO!