Friday, November 14, 2014

Je m'appelle Paul

Hi Friends:

As a mid 30 year old gay man (I’m 34) living in a city that is chalk full of gay men (so many gay men), I’m frustrated. I live in a great house in a great area of Los Angeles with a great roommate, (Shelby). While I’m completely happy and grateful to be fortunate enough to live with someone whom I get along with, love spending most of my time with and genuinely enjoy being around, I can’t help but feel that something is missing. Don’t get me wrong- I love coming home after a day of work and putting on comfy clothes, swapping my contacts for my glasses, pouring a glass or two of wine and watching a Hulu episode of “The Walking Dead,” or “American Horror Story,” or some random documentary. But… after the Apple TV has been turned off, the cheese and crackers have been put away and the lights go out, I’d love nothing more than to make my way to my bedroom with someone who had not only enjoyed the night’s events, but who wants to get into my bed to chat a little bit about nothing until we drift off to slumber…only to turn over too aggressively, wake me up as he makes his way to the bathroom at 3:00 am and crawls back into bed unaware that I’ve even been disturbed…Winter has begun to set upon us in the City of Angels and my bed isn’t getting any warmer on it’s own in this little Craftsman-style home….

I’ve dated. A lot. I’ve been in love a few times. I’ve lost in love a lot of times. I’ve met great people and I’ve met not so great people. I’ve lived and learned and I’ve had a lot of fun. But, I’m ready for all of this to morph into something…more. 

I’m not your stereotypical “gay man in L.A.”. Don’t get me wrong- I’m attractive enough.  I’m educated and I’m smart- remember, being educated and being smart are not the same thing. Luckily, I’m both… I’m charismatic and confident, yet humble enough to know my place. I’m a good guy. But, in a city like Los Angeles, it seems that I’m a little off the beaten path. I rarely work out- when I get home at 9pm, the last thing on my mind is stopping by LA Fitness to get in a 45 minute cardio and 30 minute weight training. This is not to say that I don’t take care of myself- I do! What I lack in work out time, I make up for in eating right and being conscious as to the culinary decisions that I make. I’m less interested in someone’s muscle tone than I am their mind. Don’t get me wrong- a nice, hard body is a very welcome thing, but it’s not a requirement. I’m not made of marble- why should I expect you to be?I also don’t “go out” often. This isn’t to say that I don’t go out at all- I do. But, I’d much rather have a great dinner or have people over for good wine and food. I lived my twenties in New York City, twenty pounds lighter, ten years younger, going out every night. I spent way too many a night dancing on a speaker in a shirt that was too tight, yet displayed my assets (a young, firm, thin, think body) at a club that I didn’t wait in line to get into because I knew the Drag Queen at the door. I did it. I loved it. I’m over it. 

At this point in the game, I’m ready for something real. As cliche as it sounds, I’m ready to find the yin to my yang. I know who I am (or who I am at this point in time). I know what I want in a partner (or, at least I think I do). I’d like the make the move to something that builds. I’d like to find someone who is in the same mindset. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that finding “that one” isn’t a guarantee. It might not happen for everyone. I’m OK with that. Finding love isn’t something that I “need,” as it may have been in my 20’s… rather, it’s something that I “want”.

So, bring on the hunt! As you see, Shelby has already pretty much outlined the rules- though, there really aren’t any. Basically- first one to find love wins (that love has to last at least 6 months, though). OR, if I set Shelby up and it works, then I win. Though, I guess that would mean that we both win…kind of…

If you know someone who you think I might be a good match with, set it up. My taste is ever changing and evolving and I’m stoked to begin this “race”. 


paulamatingrace@gmail.com

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